How do you escape the drama? I have come to realize that there is no way to avoid drama; it tends to find us wherever we go. However, you can make the DECISION to escape the drama once it appears. It requires a mind shift. But in my experience, this can make all the difference in how you deal with the daily stresses of life.
What do you do when things go wrong? It is easy to blame another person or situation if things aren’t going your way. This leads to feeling powerless in some situations – unable to control the fear and anxiety you’re experiencing.
Here’s the deal: by playing the victim, you’re taking away all your power and consider yourself at the mercy of life’s events. Your actions and reactions are becoming your very own obstacles. By changing your mindset – and resist taking on the role of the victim – you’ll be able to engage in life in a whole new manner that’s sure to be more effective and more fulfilling than you ever could have imagined. After all, the power of knowing YOU determine your own successes, your own achievements, and your own results, is stunningly satisfying.
Making the shift
First things first, let’s chat about three steps you can take to help shift your mindset from being the victim to hero (of your own life!). Changing your mindset is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight. Knowing that: don’t get discouraged. Once you truly understand and accept that YOU are your only limitation, you’ll start to recognize and replace coping mechanisms that are limiting your growth with actions that will propel you forward.
Keep a drama log
Last month I asked you to keep a gratitude journal (keep this going, by the way!) and this month I’m asking you to keep a drama log. Writing things down helps the mind create clarity that cannot be achieved by just thinking (you know, that hamster wheel of thoughts). You see, many people are unaware that they are even assuming the role of victim to cope with all the drama in their lives. Here are the three items you need to write down:
- What is the problem?
Write down in a sentence or less what this “drama” is that has appeared in your life. Sometimes the very act of writing it down makes it feel less heavy!
- What is it that I want?
Now that you know what the problem is, you want to make the shift into focusing on what it is that you want to happen.
- What action can I take to move towards what I want?
The last step is to determine the one action you can take to move you closer to what you want.
Example: One of my co-workers seems to be giving me the cold shoulder.
- Problem: Sally does not seem to want to talk to me, she must not like me and is giving me the cold shoulder on purpose.
- What I want: I want to have a good relationship with Sally and feel like I matter to her.
- What I can do: I will ask Sally to lunch to start to build a relationship with her.
One of my favorite mentors, David Byrd says, “It is what it is, now what are you going to do about it?” We often spend so much time worrying about the problem, which can leave us feeling powerless. However, if we can make the shift to focusing on what we want to create, and taking a small step towards that we move into empowerment mode and I can assure you empowerment feels a whole lot better!
Ninety-two percent of people say that they don’t achieve the goals they set for themselves each year? The remaining 8 percent share a success-oriented mindset that guides their thoughts and actions. That’s the mindset you want.
Never forget that you are neither helpless nor hopeless! You have the power to change a negative environment or situation to the one you desire. These efforts start with you.
I have so much more on this topic I want to share with you which is why I invite you to continue this conversation on a Facebook Live Event on Tuesday, December 19, at 4:30 p.m. CT. Tune in and let’s chat about some additional tips on how to avoid thinking negative about a situation to instead focus on your power to change them.
I’ll leave you with this request to kick off this month’s campaign. Keep a drama log and write down (1) the problem, (2) what it is you want, (3) one action you can take to move closer to your goal! Share with us your progress by submitting a comment below.
Visit my Facebook page on the day at the right time and click on the LIVE event displayed at the top of the page. You can share this link http://bit.ly/2xDzRx9 with your friends and family (after all, who couldn’t benefit from reducing drama?). Remind them that in order to watch this video, they’ll need to LIKE my Page first!
Follow me on social media: @AOlsonRourke